Waiting

This pregnancy has been very different than my first two. I had more morning sickness, I started getting Braxton Hicks at 14 weeks, things started hurting and aching a lot faster and stronger and I am just done. I've been done being pregnant for about a month now, selfishly wishing that it would be fine if she were to come that early. Then my selfless mother self would come back and remind me that she still needs to bake a little longer.

Well, last week, things got even more interesting. I had some pretty convincing false labour which resulted in packing up the family in the middle of the night, arranging drop off with Grandma, waking up more people than necessary because my brain wasn't there, two hospital visits, 3 hours of sleep, two (.5 if you count Matt's ride he had to catch) rides into the city, a routine doctor's visit, on and off contractions, morphine and finally another 3 hours of peaceful sleep. During all of this, my family and Matt's family were all waiting expectantly for some kind of news - really, they just wanted news that the baby was here. :)

Since then, I have had an extra sleepover at my mom's place to make sure if I did go into honest-to-goodness labour, I would have a way into the hospital. We've also left our house twice for all day activities Saturday and Sunday which required us to pack a bag for the boys and bring my hospital bag *just in case* anything were to progress. It's been exhausting. The waiting game is in full swing when it shouldn't be. I've never had false labour so early and let me tell you, it's a frustrating thing. Now I'll have a contraction and think, "Is this it?" Being an hour away from the hospital doesn't help because we can't wait too long trying to figure out if it's real or not. And if it's not real, well, you just wasted hours of your life and inconvenienced many people. I've been struggling with being an inconvenience since Thursday but I'm trying to listen as people tell me it's fine, even expected that things are a little up in the air around the time of baby's appearance.

So, moral of the story is if you have false labour early, everyone around you - including and most especially you - will be on edge. I have a sister texting me to make sure I'm still pregnant, I have a brother who walked out of church meetings to take a phone call from me just in case it was news about the baby, and I have raging hormones so when people ask me how I'm doing, I just cry. Sorry Heidi. :) I wish I hadn't had contractions that night. I wish I wasn't already viewed as a time bomb. But alas, this is where we are. We are definitely more prepared because of the events of last week, so if she does come early when I'm home with no car, we're ready. :)

Baby girl, this is your invitation to come whenever. Just be committed next time. ;)

Blessed

So, on Tuesday, I got a phone call. Matt had hit a moose. As a country girl, I had heard of many moose accidents that ended very badly. My dad hit a moose when I was younger and the only reason he came out without a scratch was because he was driving our giant, solid GMC pickup truck. So, to say I was concerned would be an understatement. Obviously, he was calling me so he wasn't dead but emotions take over easily. He quickly assured me that he was fine and the car was working. Wonderful!

He came home and the story came out. The moose came out of nowhere on the driver's side and he nicked its front leg. Some part of the moose then hit the top left corner of the windshield, the mirror was ripped off and some dents along the side. As this took Matt completely by surprise, he ended up swerving and turned 180° on the shoulder. Now, I don't know how much you know about moose accidents, etc. but if you have to hit a moose, it's best to hit the back legs. The worst is to hit in the middle but right up there is hitting it in the front, where it's big giant head is and attached are incredibly massive antlers. When I heard he hit the front of the moose, I was even more relieved that he was alright.

Today, I drove the car for the first time since the accident. I was stunned to see the smash in the windshield. My husband so easily could have been killed by that moose. Just a little harder, a few inches lower, etc. and that head would've gone through the window right to where my husband sat. I have been expressing my love a little more freely this week and saying more silent prayers. Blessed, blessed, blessed! 

New year, New Resolutions

I love a new year! It's so fresh starting again with reminders to set goals and improve yourself. I like setting goals. Whether I keep them is another story. Although, I have been reacquainted with a handy app/website that so far has been helping me keep on track. Any of you heard of coach.me? You can list the goals you want to work on and how many days a week you hope to accomplish that goal. Then you get to go in every day and tick them off. It's very satisfying seeing the bright green over your goal. :)

One of the things I resolved to work on this year is this blog. I mean, come on! I haven't posted since MAY. What? That's ridiculous. So, if you notice I haven't posted in a while, feel free to send me a friendly reminder. :) 

This year, I am also trying to be a better, more loving, patient mother. Two things are going to help me accomplish this. First, I have made a goal to (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly? I'm not really sure yet) create an activity bin. I find most of my moments of weakness as a mom are when my kids are bored and I am doing something else - and have no ideas what to direct them to. Enter Pinterest. A search of boredom busters turns up TONS of results. I have picked out a few to start with and I go to the dollar store tomorrow to get started on a few of the bins. Then, when boredom strikes, I will have something to pull out other than paint or moon sand, which are messy and stressful for me. Second, last conference, there was a great talk (found here) about ponderizing - 80% extended pondering and 20% memorizing. The idea is to choose a scripture each week and post it somewhere you will see it often. Every time you pass it, read it. Throughout the day, think about it. I am focusing - at least this month - on scriptures about patience. Since I put up this week's I have noticed I am better able to pause and think before reacting. Here's mine for this week:

James 1:19-20

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:  

20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

I'm excited to improve this year. If any of you have strategies for sticking with your goals, I'd love to hear them. :)