Sugar and Spice

Our little girl has brought sugar and spice and everything nice to our home. How has it been a year?? This sweet girl came to us 365 days ago. She has the sweetest smile and gets so excited when she sees her parents. She absolutely ADORES her brothers even though they are a little rough sometimes. She has given us a run for our money in her ability to get into trouble. :) She loves standing at the bookshelf and pulling books out, she has a sixth sense about the bathroom door being opened and will make a run for it every chance she has. Toilet paper is the best entertainment! Liesel is so close to walking and loves to be free. But she still loves cuddles. My heart is full whenever I look at my precious girl. Here are some favourite photos from her first year:

She pulls her blankets up over her face when going to sleep

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl!

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time, a beautiful, precious princess joined our family. She was 6 lb 15 oz, 20.5 ish (quote from the nurse) inches long, one and a half weeks early and perfect! I'm here to tell you the birth story...a little (or a lot) late.

So, you all know about the false alarm we had two weeks to the day before we actually had our sweet baby. After that, the contractions kept coming off and on and making me a little uneasy and on edge. My next doctor's appointment I was supposed to be given an induction date. I was so excited for the finish line to be in sight but Liesel had other ideas. She had decided after her almost appearance the week before that she liked it better up high in my uterus, so up she floated, dashing my hopes of knowing the end date. But! I would have my membranes swept at the next appointment, so there was something to focus on.

Next week came, membranes swept and the doctor requested that I book an appointment for the next day to have them swept again if I didn't already have the baby. There were a few contractions here and there that night but no baby so away we went the next morning. My mother-in-law kindly drove the boys and me in so that Matt could have a car at home in case I went into labour or was sent to be induced. Thanks, Jen!

Right after getting in the car after my appointment, I started having some hard and intense contractions, worse than when I went into the hospital the first time. I was told by my doctor to go to the hospital if they were coming 5 minutes apart and I could feel the baby being pushed down with the contractions. Now, tell me, could you feel what was happening to the baby during contractions? because I surely couldn't. I just hurt. A lot. After lots of internal debating about what I should do, go home or hang around and see if anything happened, we headed over to Matt's cousin's house. After some lunch and continuing contractions, a walk to the park seemed like a good idea. Let the kids run around and get me out walking to speed things up. Before we left, I called Matt and told him he should get into the city because I was pretty sure this was the real deal. I couldn't be in this much pain and not get a baby out of it within a few hours.

Progress to the park was slow as I had to stop every contraction and breathe. Seriously, I hate contractions. Kayty and I circled the park while my MIL played with 4 of the 5 kids. Around and around we went until contractions were consistently coming about 3 minutes apart and I decided I needed to go to the hospital whether Matt was there to take me or not. I called to check in on him when we got back to the house an hour after the first phone call. He was still 45 minutes away. We live about an hour away. Turns out, Matt had a shower. Good thinking, love. It would be days before we would be home again. :)

So, with him being that far away, Kayty watched my kiddos and Jen took me to the hospital to sit with me until Matt arrived. Apparently my doctor is one of the most generous with his measurements. I was measured at a four in his office and I was measured at a four at the hospital. The nurse acknowledged that with his generous measurements, that probably meant I actually had dilated more but because it said on my papers that I was 4 cm at my appointment, it looked like nothing had changed. She said that my contractions might have been just my uterus becoming irritated by the membrane sweeping. I cried at this point. How in the world could I be in this much pain without it doing something to bring this baby to me? Matt got there shortly before the nurse told me they'd have me walk around for an hour or more. Ugh.

Contractions were still coming between 2 and a half and 3 minutes. Every one made me stop walking, grab onto the supports along the wall and cry or cringe or cry out. Back labour. The worst. After the hour, they were just so bad, I couldn't stand it anymore. Returning to the triage, we were informed that literally NO progress had been made. Nothing changed. I cried some more. After humming and hawing, I decided I hurt too much to be sent home without anything so I got a shot of morphine. As it started to course through my body, the contractions slowed and got a bit easier. Until they weren't anymore and I would writhe on the bed every other contraction. When you get morphine, they make you stay at the hospital to make sure you don't react poorly and because it can sometimes calm your body enough to make things start to progress. After the hour, my nurse came back to check on me. I told her they seemed to have slowed but I was still in a lot of pain. Her thoughts were that I'd be going home, but then I had one of my writhing contractions. She was very surprised by the amount of pain I was under so she proceeded to check me again. I was still a four BUT my cervix was softening! That was a good sign. My doctor needed to be told the progress and we would go from there. To help me not get my hopes up, my nurse shared that she believed he'd probably have me sent home. More tears.

Upon her return, the nurse gave us the great news that Dr. Chua wanted me to stay. He needed to make sure the charge nurse was okay with it and then they'd set me up with a room and rupture my membranes. Wahoo! I was having my baby that day! Greatest news. I was admitted into a L&D room at 6:00. AND my doctor agreed to let me get an epidural before he ruptured my membranes! With the pain I was already feeling, I did NOT want to endure the instant increase in contractions that would follow without the assistance of some seriously intense drugs! These are my thoughts on epidurals if you are interested. ;)

I love my doctor! Through the ensuing hours, he kept joking about how he needed his beauty sleep. He is quick to add humour and do what he can to make his patients comfortable and happy. The best! Anyways, after the epidural kicked in, he came to rupture my membranes at about 7:30. He checked me first and I was at 6 cm! HA! I was actually in labour! No need for induction, but he still ruptured my membranes. :) After an hour, I had only dilated to a 7. I have this thing when I get epidurals that it wears off on one side at some point. I am now very prepared to request a top up from the anesthesiologist when I start to feel the smallest amount of pain. At around 9:30, it happened so in came my life saver to freeze me up some more. But. I ended up being SO frozen. My lower half was completely dead weight. I felt badly for my nurses when my doctor said we needed to rotate me from side to side to get baby's head turned down instead of up. Because I couldn't feel a single thing, I couldn't move an inch. It was pretty comical.

At ten thirty, Matt sent a text to his mom to tell her that things were moving slowly and I probably wouldn't have the baby any time soon. Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Chua checked me again and I was ten cm! He declared it was time to get this baby out. Problem was I couldn't feel anything. No pressure, no desire to push. With the boys, I felt that. I knew what I was supposed to do and it was incredible. I didn't think you were supposed to feel that but when I wasn't able to this time, I was surprised he wanted to go forward with it. He assured me it would be fine. My nurse was up by me, feeling my stomach for contractions, the student nurse and Matt were supporting my whale-like legs (that's what they feel like when you can't feel them, in case you were wondering) and when a contraction came, I was told to push. I had no idea what I was even pushing and didn't know if I was even doing anything. The comments around the room reassured me that I was doing something so I kept doing what I was doing. It took three contractions and there she was!  Eleven o'clock on the dot. What a little miracle.

Because of the amount of drugs in my body, I was unable to move for a good two hours. Sitting in the delivery bed, I tested out my muscles every once in a while. I was so proud of the accomplishment of moving my toes! Then, I could move my legs a little side to side. Finally, I could lift them off the bed. The nurses deemed me sufficiently unfrozen (or is it defrosted?) to help me into the wheelchair. I wasn't ready for that first step and almost fell on the floor. Seriously, I just laugh when I think about how comical many moments of this delivery were. :)

After a long long day, we got to our room, I was brought a turkey sandwich (heaven in my mouth!) and we were able to shut our eyes for a bit.

What a joy it has been to have Liesel in our lives! She has been such a good baby and we are all smitten.

The Big Gift

The stack of bills I took out for the purchase

So, yesterday I lead into today's post saying Matt gave me a big gift that I'd tell you about later. It wasn't a done deal yesterday so I didn't want to say anything, in case somehow it turned out to be nothing more than a dream.
We are a family of 5 - a growing family of five - that find it hard to deal with the current vehicle situation. There's the fact that a weekend away has us packed to the rafters or that we can't bring any aunts, or uncles or cousins for sleepovers because there's no extra room, or that I'm stuck in rural Alberta all day with three small kids or that I feel like a burden on extended family when I have to call to bum rides to places or that one day, we will have another baby and it will be absolutely mandatory that we upgrade. There have been many many MANY conversations about vans. I have been begging and pleading for months now and on Emmett's birthday, Matt told me we could start looking. SO exciting! But, with the Christmas rush, I didn't push forward until last week.

I am now in the minivan club :)

I have a dear friend who has a great dad that is mechanically minded. He told me if I found a van I liked, he would check it out for us so I sent him some links. None of those panned out. I was given more criteria to look for in choosing and away we went again. Monday night, I sent a few other links to more vans. Well, Tuesday afternoon, I get a call from him telling me he heard back about a van and was going to look at it if that was okay with me. Um, yes please! I didn't even know which van it was but I was anxious the whole wait to hear how everything went. The call came in about 15 minutes later. "This is an incredible deal! You have to call her and buy it. If you don't, I will!" :)
Being a good wife, I double checked with Matt first that I had the go ahead to do it and then I made the call to the sweetest lady and arranged for the purchase of our very own van. I've been giddy all day waiting to get it. I still can't believe it's real life! We are loving our van.

Note: Oakley might be more excited about it than me...maybe. ;)

Two vehicles! In OUR garage!

*Insert mushy post title here*

Well, here we are again. Matt and I have made it around the sun together once more. Today marks 8 years since that bitterly cold January day where we joined our lives and promised each other and God that we would be faithful and true. What a beautiful thing.

I tell Matt quite frequently that there are some times when I look at him and my heart almost explodes because I just love him so dang much. We have been through a lot together, ups and downs but he remains my faithful companion, my strongest support, my inspiration and motivation.

Today, he gave me the gifts of:

• a kiss before he went to work
• still sounding cheerful even after I'd called him too many times at work. :)
• doing the big monthly grocery trip for me
• surprising me with flowers
• getting the boys off to bed
• letting me win crib by one point (this was actually because he thought he HAD won due to miscalculation)
• and a pretty big one that we'll get into another day

How does one girl get so lucky??

I sure love you, Matt! Here's to eternity.

Waiting

This pregnancy has been very different than my first two. I had more morning sickness, I started getting Braxton Hicks at 14 weeks, things started hurting and aching a lot faster and stronger and I am just done. I've been done being pregnant for about a month now, selfishly wishing that it would be fine if she were to come that early. Then my selfless mother self would come back and remind me that she still needs to bake a little longer.

Well, last week, things got even more interesting. I had some pretty convincing false labour which resulted in packing up the family in the middle of the night, arranging drop off with Grandma, waking up more people than necessary because my brain wasn't there, two hospital visits, 3 hours of sleep, two (.5 if you count Matt's ride he had to catch) rides into the city, a routine doctor's visit, on and off contractions, morphine and finally another 3 hours of peaceful sleep. During all of this, my family and Matt's family were all waiting expectantly for some kind of news - really, they just wanted news that the baby was here. :)

Since then, I have had an extra sleepover at my mom's place to make sure if I did go into honest-to-goodness labour, I would have a way into the hospital. We've also left our house twice for all day activities Saturday and Sunday which required us to pack a bag for the boys and bring my hospital bag *just in case* anything were to progress. It's been exhausting. The waiting game is in full swing when it shouldn't be. I've never had false labour so early and let me tell you, it's a frustrating thing. Now I'll have a contraction and think, "Is this it?" Being an hour away from the hospital doesn't help because we can't wait too long trying to figure out if it's real or not. And if it's not real, well, you just wasted hours of your life and inconvenienced many people. I've been struggling with being an inconvenience since Thursday but I'm trying to listen as people tell me it's fine, even expected that things are a little up in the air around the time of baby's appearance.

So, moral of the story is if you have false labour early, everyone around you - including and most especially you - will be on edge. I have a sister texting me to make sure I'm still pregnant, I have a brother who walked out of church meetings to take a phone call from me just in case it was news about the baby, and I have raging hormones so when people ask me how I'm doing, I just cry. Sorry Heidi. :) I wish I hadn't had contractions that night. I wish I wasn't already viewed as a time bomb. But alas, this is where we are. We are definitely more prepared because of the events of last week, so if she does come early when I'm home with no car, we're ready. :)

Baby girl, this is your invitation to come whenever. Just be committed next time. ;)

Blessed

So, on Tuesday, I got a phone call. Matt had hit a moose. As a country girl, I had heard of many moose accidents that ended very badly. My dad hit a moose when I was younger and the only reason he came out without a scratch was because he was driving our giant, solid GMC pickup truck. So, to say I was concerned would be an understatement. Obviously, he was calling me so he wasn't dead but emotions take over easily. He quickly assured me that he was fine and the car was working. Wonderful!

He came home and the story came out. The moose came out of nowhere on the driver's side and he nicked its front leg. Some part of the moose then hit the top left corner of the windshield, the mirror was ripped off and some dents along the side. As this took Matt completely by surprise, he ended up swerving and turned 180° on the shoulder. Now, I don't know how much you know about moose accidents, etc. but if you have to hit a moose, it's best to hit the back legs. The worst is to hit in the middle but right up there is hitting it in the front, where it's big giant head is and attached are incredibly massive antlers. When I heard he hit the front of the moose, I was even more relieved that he was alright.

Today, I drove the car for the first time since the accident. I was stunned to see the smash in the windshield. My husband so easily could have been killed by that moose. Just a little harder, a few inches lower, etc. and that head would've gone through the window right to where my husband sat. I have been expressing my love a little more freely this week and saying more silent prayers. Blessed, blessed, blessed! 

New year, New Resolutions

I love a new year! It's so fresh starting again with reminders to set goals and improve yourself. I like setting goals. Whether I keep them is another story. Although, I have been reacquainted with a handy app/website that so far has been helping me keep on track. Any of you heard of coach.me? You can list the goals you want to work on and how many days a week you hope to accomplish that goal. Then you get to go in every day and tick them off. It's very satisfying seeing the bright green over your goal. :)

One of the things I resolved to work on this year is this blog. I mean, come on! I haven't posted since MAY. What? That's ridiculous. So, if you notice I haven't posted in a while, feel free to send me a friendly reminder. :) 

This year, I am also trying to be a better, more loving, patient mother. Two things are going to help me accomplish this. First, I have made a goal to (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly? I'm not really sure yet) create an activity bin. I find most of my moments of weakness as a mom are when my kids are bored and I am doing something else - and have no ideas what to direct them to. Enter Pinterest. A search of boredom busters turns up TONS of results. I have picked out a few to start with and I go to the dollar store tomorrow to get started on a few of the bins. Then, when boredom strikes, I will have something to pull out other than paint or moon sand, which are messy and stressful for me. Second, last conference, there was a great talk (found here) about ponderizing - 80% extended pondering and 20% memorizing. The idea is to choose a scripture each week and post it somewhere you will see it often. Every time you pass it, read it. Throughout the day, think about it. I am focusing - at least this month - on scriptures about patience. Since I put up this week's I have noticed I am better able to pause and think before reacting. Here's mine for this week:

James 1:19-20

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:  

20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

I'm excited to improve this year. If any of you have strategies for sticking with your goals, I'd love to hear them. :)